When the tables are turn

I will never understand the thought process of Jack. Just when I think I have figured it out, I start all over again. Last Easter is a prime example of what a complete loser he is.

Even year holidays are my days and Odd year holidays are his. Last Easter happened to fall on his weekend so I was able to get her on Saturday night or Sunday morning. I opted for Sunday morning because we were celebrating my friend’s birthday on Saturday.

Jack was cool with it and we planned to meet at the gym at 10 am on Easter. I ended up losing my phone Saturday and had no way of knowing if Jack called or getting a hold of him. I go to them gym like planned at wait around. I wait until about 10:30 and I see no Jack. I went into the gym to use the phone. I called him several times but he never answered.

At this time I was pissed. I went to his house to find that no one was there. I didn’t have my phone so I had to go to a store to use a phone. I called my mom to tell her that I have no idea where Jack was with my daughter. Just so happens that Jack ended up calling my mom when he realized that I called him from the gym.   He ended up having to go into work and he dropped my daughter off at Witless’s mom’s house. WTF?!?!? If you don’t get a hold of me to tell me that you are changing plans then the plans don’t change. Are you fucking kidding me. They stay the same. If you can’t get a hold of me, don’t assume that I know that the plans have changed. You find someone to meet me at the gym as planned.

If I would have pulled this stunt with him, he would have called the cops on me and made a big production about it. My mom told me that Whitney had to work as well and was unable to drop her off at the gym.

Now, I am beyond pissed. You don’t change the plans. Just because you left a voicemail doesn’t mean shit.

I drive to Witless’s mom’s house and who answers the door? Oh yes, Witless. My anger suddenly turned into rage.

Me- Um, if you are just chilling here, why couldn’t you drop her off at the gym.

Witless- We left you voicemails.

Me- Oh so because you left me voicemails that makes everything okay?

Witless- What were we supposed to do?

Me- Drop her off at the gym as planned. Not make me run all over the god damn town on fucking Easter trying to find my daughter.

Witless- I just did what Jack said to do.

Me- Yeah, how would you feel if it was your daughter. You’re a fucking idiot.

Witless just looked at me. It was silent as I waited for my daughter to come to the door. When she came out, Witless tried to tell me how she has had a bath and everything. I just shot he a dirty look and mouthed the words “go fuck yourself”.

Later that day, I found my phone. My friend had it. When I got my phone, it was still on. When I checked call records, Jack and Witless called one time each. Jack called at 8:30am and Witless called at 11:00am. 11am?!?! Yeah, we were supposed to meet at 10am. As for Jack, he told my mom that he tried calling several times. Yeah, several times my ass. Called once and never even texted.

When I noticed this small but significant detail, I sent Jack a message. It was to inform him how irresponsible it was to switch plans and not try to get a hold of me more than one time.

His response was priceless. “Maybe you shouldn’t have gone out for your friend’s birthday. You should have had your priorities straight.”  HAAAA I should have my priorities straight? Good one. I had my friends party planned for a while. Whether I went out or not has nothing to do with his lack of judgment over the situation. 

I debated if I wanted to continue the conversation. No matter what I say to him, he will either turn it around or have some lame excuse. Instead of going off on him I simply stated that if I don’t answer or respond, don’t assume that I got the message. If I don’t answer or respond, then he is to make accommodations with someone to still have my daughter dropped off at the gym.

When he informed me that wasn’t his job, I ended the conversation. Not his job? Really? Making sure our daughter gets dropped back off at me isn’t his job? I guess I missed something.

The real kicker was what happened the following week. Apparently Jack lost his phone and didn’t think it was necessary to inform me of this. It just so happens that I had a flat tire and didn’t have the means to meet at the gym. I also didn’t have the means to communicate the situation with Jack because he never answered his calls. We were supposed to meet at the gym at three. Around 3:30 he calls me on Witless’s phone.

Jack- Where are you?

Me- My house

Jack- WTF?!?!

Me- I have a flat. I tried calling you several times and texted you. I didn’t get a response.

Jack- Well I lost my phone

Me- I am not a mind reader

Jack- Well you should  have called Witless’s phone

Me- Oooooh yeah…. That isn’t my job.

Jack- WTF do you mean it isn’t your job. I have been waiting her for thirty minutes and I had no clue where our daughter is.

Me- I tried calling you. It isn’t my fault that you lost your phone.

Jack- Unless you are here in 15 min, I am calling the cops.

Me- Well, I guess you will be calling the cops because I HAVE A FLAT.

Jack- I bet you’re lying.

Me- Yeah, you caught me. I much rather be home then go to the gym to work out.

Jack- You have 15 minutes.

Me- Or you can come get her.

He hung up on me. 15 min huh? Amazing how he reacts when the tables are turned. It’s not his job to call other places in order to get a hold of me, but I need to do whatever I can in order to reach him. Got it.

Fifteen minutes passed and nothing. No phone call or a surprise visitor. I guess having his daughter for the night wasn’t worth it for him. Good to know.

May I borrow your carseat... for free?

Jack calls me up and asks if he can borrow one of my carseats for about a year. Hahah a year? Wtf? Why the hell would I let him borrow one of my carseats for a year? If he has it that long, I might as well just give it to him.

Jack- Well, we are giving the new baby our baby’s carseat so our baby will need a carseat. I will give it back to you in a year and you can sell it or do whatever you want with it. Hahahah how sweet of him. He will give it back so I can sell an outdated carseat.

Me- I will sell it to you.

Jack- That is the point. We don’t want to buy one so we thought you would help us out. Oh yeah, just like you have helped me out in the past.

Me- If you don’t want to buy it, you can always rent it from me. Month by month. Or you can sign a year lease and get a discount. It’s up to you.

Jack- Are you fucking kidding me?

Me- No, actually, I just thought of that and thought it was pretty ingenious.

Jack- If we wanted to pay for a carseat we would just go out and buy one. I thought you would be cool and help us out. Of course, just like you have helped me out.

Me- Well, I guess I am not that cool.

Jack- Do you ever think about anyone other than yourself? I mean this benefits your daughter. Hahahah… ahhahaha yeah still laughing at this. They have a carseat for her. How the hell would giving them my carseat to them help out my daughter? Never gets old…

Me- Yeah, our daughter has shoes and clothes over at my place. I never have to ask you to borrow a jacket because she doesn’t have one.

Jack- We don’t have a lot of money. We will have two children under one next month.

Me- That is your problem. You should have wrapped it up or gotten cut after the third child.

Jack- You are such a bitch. You are just jealous because I am finally having a boy.

Me- Okay, I guess I will see you on Friday then.

Ooooh man. He blows my mind at times. Again with calling me a bitch when he is trying to get me to help him out.  What a joke.

When Jack was dropping our daughter off at the gym on Saturday, he was wearing a BRAND NEW Cardinals jersey. Authentic, I might add. He has the money to spend on him but not the money to spend on his future child? That is great. Always knew he was a great catch.

I'm not "forfilling" my obligations

Jack calls me up on the day he is supposed to get our daughter. He starts the conversation out, “Before I drive all the way out there…” This automatically raises a red flag for me. Either I am going to like his plan or he is not going to get our daughter. Besides, who in the hell starts off a convo like that? Especially when it is dealing with your child? If I only got my child every other weekend, you better believe I would do whatever it takes to get her.  But no, not Jack. Jack is too selfish.

Jack- I have to work tomorrow so if you want our daughter back in the morning you have to come pick her up from my house or you can wait until I get off.

First off, don’t EVER give me bullshit choices like that when the courts paper say she is to be in my possession by 9am. Doesn’t say I have to pick her up or wait for his dumbass. When you give me choices without asking, you better believe I am going to tell you to fuck off.

Now, you may think that I am going overboard right now. Let me assure you that I am not. I have dropped and picked up my daughter from their house for three weekends in a row. THREE. Never once did he offer to come to my house to drop her off or pick her up.

Me- Why are those my only options?

Jack- Witless can’t drive because of her hand. Oh. Well that sucks for you because now you pissed me off and I am not driving all the way to your house to get her because she can’t drive. I am pretty sure she drives when it benefits you. Fuck that shit.

Me- Are you going to come out here to pick her up then?

Jack- No, I am going to meet you at the gym because it is our meeting place. Whoa… timeout buckaroo. You want me to go pick her up from you but you aren’t willing to drive out to me to pick her up? And FYI, the meeting place is the gym because I am always there anyways when you drop her off or pick her up. Court papers say you pick her up and drop her off to me. I don’t have to meet Jackass anywhere per the glorious court reports.

Me- So let me get this straight. You want me to drive all the way out to your place to get my daughter tomorrow but you won’t come to my house to get her today?

Jack- Well you can get her or wait until I get off.

Me- Ummmm yeah. I am going to have to say Negative to your thought out plan and she is to be at the gym by 9am.

Jack- I won’t be able to get her to you by that time.

Me- Well, it’s either that or you can pick her up from me. I am tired of always driving out to you when I have plans. It’s bullshit.

Jack- I already gave you the two options.

Me- Well your options are bullshit and now you are just wasting my time.

I hung up on him. I don’t have time to argue with an idiot. All of a sudden he is blowing up my phone saying that he is at the gym and has been waiting for 45 minutes. Weird. Our phone conversation only lasted ten minutes. Instead of answering his phone calls, we went straight to texting.

Jack- I am here. What’s your eta?

Me- Never. I am not going to meet you. I don’t have the gas money this weekend to drive all over town to help you out.

Jack- Not coming?

Me- That would be correct. Unless you want to come out here and pick her up, I am not meeting you. You want me to pick her up from Witless, than you pick her up from me. Fair trade.

Jack- You get child support gas is not an excuse also I said I can bring her here after I get off

Jack- I don’t have gas money and yet I’m still here what’s your eta?

Me- Court papers say nine. So if you can't have to me by nine, quit wasting my time.

Jack- And I am at the meeting place.

Jack- That’s the other option you are more than welcome to pick her up.

Jack- Your not forfilling your obligation so what’s your eta? Hahahah please note that he said forfilling.

Me- No. I don't have to pick her up. You are to be at the meeting place at nine if I'm going to the meeting place.

Me- You're wasting my time and you began the phone convo with "before I drive all the way out there".

Jack- Well i am here and have been here for almost forty five mins Oh boooo hoooo.

Me- Are you going to be at the gym with our daughter at 9am?

Jack- No there is no way to do that

Jack- Unless you pick her up and take her there. Is this his way of being cute and funny. Because I do not find this cute nor funny.

Me- I'm not picking her up from your house and I'm not waiting until you get off work. And child support isn't for my taxi services.

Me- So unless you are going to have her at the gym by 9am quit wasting my time.

That was the end of the conversation. He never tried to pick her up from me or even try to work something out in order to see his daughter. Not my problem though. More time to spend with my precious angel.

May I borrow $300?

The other day I received a text message from my favorite person in the whole wide world. Who is that you might ask? But of course, Jack the man. I always dread when Jack messages me in the middle of the week. It typically means that he wants something or wants me to help him out. Low and behold he wants to borrow $300 from me until he gets paid on Friday. Hahahaha are you shitting me? He can barely pay child support, let alone anything else involving our daughter but he wants me to help him out. Yeah okay.

I immediately laugh at him and said why would I want to give you $300, I would never see that money again. Jack doesn’t “borrow” money. He just takes it and runs with it. I have never seen Jack pay anyone back in the years that I have known him. Then I start to think, why would Jack ask me out of all people. He knows where I stand. We aren’t friends. I don’t care if he can’t afford his bills or anything.

He replies and said they are for bills. Yeah, okay. Well in that case, let me fork over that money. It’s not like I need the money. After all, I don’t have the bills that you have.   Instead of causing a war, I just tell him no. That is when he decided to tell me that I am bitch and only care about myself.

Ummm, yeah. I am pretty sure I wouldn’t call someone a bitch when you are asking that person for help.  The endless laughs never stop. There is never a dull moment with Jack.