To My Daughter's Stepmom

First, I would like thank you for taking the worthless piece of shit, you now call your husband, off my hands. Thank you. Thank you for being so naive that you think he is going to change or act differently because he is with you. I almost married him and then he met you. Again, thank you.

Second, I would like to thank you for being too fucking stupid to use birth control or any type of protection to prevent you from getting knocked up. He can’t even support his first two children, what makes you think he is going to be able to support the third one on what you both make? The only reason why his first daughter is getting any type of child support is because it is court ordered. He has yet to pay any type of child support to me, but yet you think your situation is different. Well congratulations on being baby mama number three and probably the dumbest one out of us all.

With that being said, I have a few things I would like

1. Do not tell me how much he has changed and how he is different- you have known him for less than 5 months and yet you know him better than I do? What’s that you say? You married him? Oh, well in that case, that stupid piece of paper that will mean nothing in a few years, means you know him better than his ex-wife and myself. If he truly did change, he would have learned to use protection with your dumbass. Your situation is exactly the same as mine was with him. EXACTLY. The only difference was that I was on birth control and did not get knocked up as quick. Oh yes, and I have a brain, so I didn’t marry him like he wanted to. So keep thinking he has changed. Come back in a year and tell you me you have the same feelings.

2. Don’t tell me people act differently in different situations- What the fuck is so different? Please explain me that one. I am dying to hear this. Last time I checked, he met me when he was working things out with his ex-wife and stopped to be with me. He met you when he was working things out with me and stopped to be with you. Don’t you see a pattern going on? Oh yeah, you are naïve and think he actually loves you. Not that I am trying to point that you are probably the dumbest person I have ever met, but why would my father let your husband drive his truck around town if we were no longer together? Really? Who does that? My dad hates him but yet my dad would let my ex drive around his baby? Yeah no. So I hope had fun gallivanting in my fathers truck because I am sure that was the last time you will be riding in something worth way more than a couple of thousand dollars. But seriously? What is different? The fact that you guys are poor? That your parents will never be able to help you out? That you are young and dumb? Well good luck with that because he only loves himself. What makes you think you can change him? What’s that? You don’t want to change him? You know that he has party problems but you don’t want him to change? WTF? That leads me into my next point.

3. So you are in this just for him? You married him knowing his flaws and you don’t want him to change?- That is nice, being that he has 2 other children. He is 26 and going down the same path he did with his first 2 failed relationships and you are the next one on the list. And you think that because you are married, that is going to tie him down to you. And I love how you are in it for him. What about his 2 daughters? Are you in it for them as well? Oh, you just barely met my daughter AFTER you married him? Oh, yes, I can see how that is my fault since he was too busy trying to knock you up than spend time with someone who actually mattered in his life. I am glad you know all about his flaws because you are the only person dumb enough to actually stay with him after knowing all that. What is sad is you knew all his worthless bs before you got knocked up and married him. I, on the other hand, didn’t know he was still technically married until after I got knocked up. To each their own.

4. So you love him for his flaws and you know that he has a problem partying but that is why you married him.- Does anyone else see the stupidity in this sentence? First, off, what you just said makes no sense and only makes you look like a moron. Not that you opening your mouth doesn’t make you sound stupid. Second, he doesn’t have a problem with partying. He has a problem with keeping his dick in his pants when he goes out drinking with his buddies. Two completely different topics. But hey, you are cool with that right. Maybe, it is the thrill with you. Who knows, it might actually turn you on knowing that your husband is out getting girls numbers and doing “friend” things with them while you are at home pregnant and watching his 2 children that aren’t even yours. After all, there is nothing wrong with having friends right?

5. Do not ask me questions if you really don’t want my answer- This should speak for itself. Don’t ask my questions thinking I am not going to tell you what I think. I am blunt and vocal and if you think I am going to sugar coat things because you are now my daughter’s step mom, you can think again. You are nothing to my daughter. A real step mom would have tried to get to know her soon-to-be step children before tying the knot with a complete stranger. Oh, you love him? You knew he was the man of your dreams since the day you met him? Silly me, I forgot that you truly know a person when you meet them at a party and spend the night together. My mistake.

6. Don’t get offended when I answer your question- You already know my position on your whole marriage/relationship, so why get all offended when I actually answer a question? I might actually would have a different perspective if the two of you weren’t complete idiots and were caught up in the moment. It is one thing to just think of yourselves, but it is another to think of yourselves when there are children involved. Period. I didn’t think it was appropriate for your husband to introduce you to my daughter after knowing you a few hours and without my consent. You then knew my position on my daughter being around you, period. I didn’t think it was appropriate for him jumping from one serious relationship to the next without even a break in between and it be okay to introduce you to the my daughter. I was very firm on my daughter not meeting you for at least a year, especially, since I know her father so well. Since you have only known him about 4 months, what makes you think that I would no longer think it is appropriate for her to be hanging around you? So, don’t act all shocked when I mention the inappropriateness of this whole situation. It isn’t a new concept and I know this wasn’t the first time you heard it. So quit acting like I hurt your feelings, because frankly, I don’t give a rats ass about you.

7. Do not tell me you think it is time I keep things to myself- The conversation the other day was the first conversation we actually had. Second, don’t ask me questions and then tell me to keep my mouth shut. I am well aware that my relationship was my business and that your relationship with him is your business, but guess what, I have a child with him. So your relationship with him is my business. Imagine that. You married a man that you didn’t know and that you barely knew one child. He has two. You had no clue that you would get along or anything. Everything that you have done and will do, affects my child. I don’t go around telling you every detail of our relationship. I barely talked about my relationship with him. But I have a child that is emotionally distraught because you of you two, so forgive me when I let you know what a dumb bitch you are for marrying someone with IRS up the debt or someone who doesn’t even help support his children. That is not talking about my relationship, that is stating facts about the man you just married. I can go on, but moral of the story is, I don’t open my mouth unless I am asked something. The only exception to that rule, is when it involves the girls.

8. Don’t text me telling me that when things affect my daughter that I need to bring them up with you.- Why is this? Being the wife doesn’t mean all his problems get transferred to you. The great thing about this whole thing is that I don’t have to deal with you. Unless you are secretly a dude, you didn’t get me pregnant. Which translates into you not having any say or rights whatsoever over my daughter. Being married doesn’t mean I automatically come to you.

9. There is no need to tell me that you are bonding with my daughter every time I see you- I am glad that you are bonding, but that might have been more impressive if it was before you got married. I don’t care if you are bonding with her or not because she is not over there to see you. She is over there because your husband has parenting time with my daughter. Therefore, she goes over to spend time with her father. Not his stupid wife and her lame ass family.

10. Please do not tell me who gave you ever single outfit that my daughter is wearing. – I was very close to his first daughter. I had her 90% of the time he had her. I am pretty sure, after a few years, I know what her mother bought her to wear. There is no need to tell me every time I see you that her mother gave you a bunch of her old clothes to wear for my child. Frankly, I don’t care who got them for you. I am just glad that you actually have clothes for her since you failed to have any clothes for his first child. Oh, what’s that? You didn’t have the money to buy a few cheap outfits to have at your house? Yes, I do understand how getting drunk all the time and buying a new long board for over $100 is more important than buying clothes for you new step daughter. Forgive me for having my priorities messed up. For a minute there, I thought I was the good parent, since I was the one that bought over $100 in outfits for her when I never get to see her. It broke my heart that she was upset that her loser father couldn’t manage to get her clothes or her toys from the house that he just upped and stopped paying on and leaving me to lose the house and not having a place to stay. Wow, you married a winner! But it is okay, right? Because you two are a different situation and he will never do to you what he did to EVERYONE else!

11. Telling me “I know that you must think I am a fool”- No, actually I don’t think you are a fool. That is an understatement. I think it is safe to say, that you are probably one of the dumbest people I have ever met.

12. Please do not talk to me like a modern day hippie- You are 23 years old. Do not talk to me like you are smarter than me or that you have more life experience than me. The world isn’t some magical, peaceful place where we all get along. Do not act like it is. Please do not tell me that we need to get along for the sake of the girls. WTF? Really? We all need to get along? Really? You mean constantly fighting with each other is not healthy for the girls? Weird. Thank goodness you are their new step mother so you can help guide me through my bad parenting techniques. You are by far a better parent than myself. It must have been that Step-parenting class that you took. Thank you for taking that. Because of that, all the girls emotional trauma throughout all this is now gone. When you talk like this, it makes you look dumb. It is like you are trying really hard to sound intelligent, but it isn’t working. You are not mature and you are not responsible. Making sure your husband attends his court hearings on our custody battle doesn’t mean you are responsible. How about you get your dead beat husband to pay child support instead of acting like having a child is just one big play date because he gets her every other freaking weekend.

13. Please refrain from hanging all over him or watching my every move. – Just because I loathe your husband doesn’t mean I want him. Because I don’t. I don’t know what crazy stories he is telling you but I am not in love with him nor do I want to be with him. Just because we were supposed to be married doesn’t mean shit. So please, do not come up next to him and put your arms all over him like you are trying to make me jealous. I am well aware that he is with you since I am at YOUR apartment picking up my daughter. Not to mention, why are you doing that in front of the girls? Not only is that tacky, but it shows your insecurities as well as your maturity level. Your husband makes me sick and the next time you decide to grope all over there in front of me, I might not be able to contain myself and throw up all over the both of you. You have been forewarned.

14. If I don’t hear you the first time, do not follow me around repeating it.- I probably heard you the first time, but chose not to acknowledge you because whatever comes from your mouth is usually pointless. I don’t really care to hear that my daughter woke up and then crawled into bed with you and went back to bed. She does that to everyone. You aren’t special. That isn’t her precious way of forming a bond with you. She is scared because she is sleeping in a place she doesn’t know and is a little cuddle bug. So if I don’t respond to you the first time you say it, don’t bring it up 5 more times until I finally say something. You’re her step mother. Those are things that should be a given. Telling me stupid shit like that doesn’t make me like you more. This isn’t a popularity contest and even if it were, you would never win.

15. Do not go around telling people you know what my daughter is going through and how much it effed you up- I get that you came from a broken home. How tragic. Blah blah blah. But unless you know the whole story (not the fairytale version that your husband gives you) , the honest both sides of the story version, don’t open your mouth. That right there makes me want to stab blunt toothpicks into your eye. You have no idea what my daughter is going through. Period. Just because your parents got divorced doesn’t mean that you should be lumped together. Was your father a loser? Was your father unable to keep his dick in his pants? Was your father out meeting other girls and totally ditching out on his responsibilities at home? Was your father trying to work things out with your mother and than meet another chick and decided not to come home anymore? Did your father stop paying all his bills so that your mother would lose the house and no longer have a place to stay with you? Did your mother put down $2000 on a vehicle only for your father to end up taking it and not giving it back because it was in both their names? Did your father end up calling the cops on your mother for not giving back his car when he wouldn’t give the truck back to your mother? Did your father not pay child support? Did your father think that locking it up with some chick was more important than hanging out with you? No, you say? Your father wasn’t anything like that? Well I rest my case. Your father apparently wasn’t a fucking loser like your husband. So the next time you decide to open you piehole, think twice about what you are saying because what my daughter is going through is not what you went through. Yes, I understand that your mother didn’t allow your father to see you. But just because your mother didn’t allow your father to see you and your siblings doesn’t mean I am doing the same thing. You have no idea what you are talking about. This statement really pisses me off. I can make yourself a living hell. If you don’t believe me, try me. I know your husband better than you do and if you don’t think he will do whatever it takes to make me happy, you are fooling yourself. See, he will make his ex-wife and myself happy before you because if we aren’t happy, he isn’t happy. And while we are on the subject, why don’t you just ask him who the one person that can make him so mad. Yeah, that would be me. So keep spewing shit out of your worthless mouth because I can and I will. If he isn’t happy, there is no way you will be happy, which equals a shitty marriage. And yes, I feel perfectly justified in my actions. Just in case you were wondering. Also, just because you didn’t see your father because your mother wouldn’t let him see you, doesn’t mean this is the same situation. Your husband is the biggest loser I have ever met, so before you go open the asshole you call a mouth, know what you are saying. I have tried over and over for him to see his daughter. You were more important than having a relationship with his own flesh and blood. Mmmkay?