I want to start off by saying that I did get your email a while back but I didn’t think you wanted a response. Second, I didn’t request to be your friend. I had a problem that you were checking my status on Facebook and then blocked me. Why were you checking my facebook? We aren’t friends. I heard his mother and himself found about the fact I was moving from you. Since I don’t talk to you, the only way you would have known about me moving is through FB. That is rather weird and awkward, not to mention stalkerish. Then I went on FB and saw that you completely blocked me. You can tell me all day long you didn’t but I was no longer able to email you and it didn’t show your pic and I wasn’t able to search for you. If you want to block me that is your business. I personally think it is rather tacky to block someone in general. I don’t know about you, but I would only block someone that I didn’t want to have any contact with. Which is weird because you are going to be the step mom to my child in a few weeks. I am sure you want to establish a relationship with my daughter but you are going to be her step mom before she even knows you and I think that is complete bullshit. I will get into that later. I am 27 years old and I don’t have time to play these immature games. You blocked me. End of story and as of right now, I don’t want you around my daughter. I don’t really care if you think it is weird to be our friend or anything. If you want to have my daughter in your life than you follow my rules and you need to be cool with me. If you can’t be cool with me and you feel that blocking me on facebook is your only option than you are apparently not mature and ready to be a step mom to his two girls. I find it convenient that you messaged me after I told him that I don’t want my daughter around you. I also find it funny that you are texting me when he is pissed off at the world. You know what I say to that. Oh well. He is the one that put him in this situation and you messaging me isn’t going to make me work with him. You can’t fix his problems. He needs to learn how to handle situations and being a dick and screwing people over isn’t the way to go about it.
I am sure you are a cool girl and nice but when you start making decisions that affects my child emotionally, then we have a problem. I care about those two girls more than anyone or anything in the world (well except for Baby Mama 1). This whole situation is very traumatic for both of them and douche canoe and you only seem to care about some stupid marriage that will end in a divorce soon anyways.
This wouldn’t be a that big of a deal if douche canoe and I split months ago, but we didn’t. He got with you either during the time we were together or the party, which was 3 days after we broke up. Then he introduces you to my daughter the next day? WTF?!?! Do you know how confusing all this is to the girls, especially his oldest? She still thinks I am the step mom and you guys are going to come back in a few weeks married? You don’t just tell a 4 year old that I am gone here is your new step mom. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. You both obviously don’t care about anyone else other than yourselves. His oldest is going to need a lot of therapy and mostly because of the situation you guys are making for her. I can not tell you how upset I am over that. If both of you cared about anyone else than yourselves, you would take things slow for the sake of the girls. You would just ease it in. If you want to really want to marry each, you obviously won’t go anywhere. I don’t hold you fully accountable because douche canoe has his way of getting what he wants or what he thinks he wants. However, you out of all people should know the affects of introduction new relationships to the children especially from one serious relationship to the next. What is the point of rushing into marriage? Douche Canoe is afraid that you will find out how he really is and he doesn’t want you to just leave him?
I know how you feel. I was there. We would actually be going through a divorce right now if we got married when he wanted to. He wanted to get married a month after we met and after I got pregnant. I said no to both. Good thing I had a brain. How do you know you want to spend the rest of your lives together after a month or less? You don’t. You are in the honeymoon stage or what psychologist refer to as the infatuation stage. It lasts about a year but in your case, since you are jumping right into marriage it will probably last less than a year. Marriage amplifies all problems. It will be glorious, just you wait.
Right now, everyone seems to want to make things better for douche canoe. Well F him. He created these problems for himself. He makes things worse because he only cares about himself. He is the one that left his daughter and myself hanging and he wants me to bend over backward for him because it makes his life easier? Yeah, not going to happen. He wasn’t trying to make my life easier. He made it harder and he didn’t care. He didn’t seem to care that I couldn’t afford our house and all the bills by myself when he left. Why should I care about him now? Funny, he didn’t leave me hanging until certain people had a problem he was living with me. Who cares. We have a child together and him living with me was the only way he would pay his share and help with his daughter and now, because, some people weren’t cool with him living me, I get screwed. More importantly, my daughter gets screwed. That sounds rather selfish to me. Mydaughter got screwed in a lot of ways. If he was still living with me, he would still make an effort to see her but since he moved out he rather spend time with you than his own daughter. Don’t you see a problem with that of are you too wrapped up with yourself and getting married that you care less about my daughter? This is effecting her in a huge way and you being her future step mom should have her best interests at hand. But you don’t. You seem to be just as immature and irresponsible as douche canoe. Doesn’t that bother you that he cares more about you and getting married than he does his own children? That should be one of the many red flags that have shown up and should slap some sense into you. I would imagine that you will get knocked up soon if you haven’t gotten pregnant already. Is douche canoe the kind of father you want for your child? He has left 2 of his children and you don’t think he will do it to you? Come on now. He has a track record. People like him don’t change over night. They have to want to change and he is never going to change. He needs some serious help and he doesn’t want to get that help because he doesn’t want to know what is wrong with him. He is also in denial that he is going down the same path as his mother. He will soon be 6 marriages deep by the time he is 45. I don’t know about you, but sure as hell doesn’t make me proud. You are an idiot if you think you can change him. I thought the same thing. He told me all the same shit he is telling you right now. I was awesome. I was the coolest chick ever. He was wrapped around my finger and everything else. The only reason I am the psycho, crazy bitch is because he is pissed that I am the only one in his life that doesn’t put up with his childish bullshit and I am not going to start now. His whole life, everyone has given into him and it is crap. He is 26 years old. His mom shouldn’t be bailing him out of everything. Can’t you see the dysfunctional relationship between them? Something isn’t right with them. It is like his mom has a crush on her own son. If you can’t see it now, you will see. She is his worst enemy and she will be one of the many deaths between you two. No one ever holds him accountable for anything. He think he can bitch and complain and people will just give into him and I refuse to. He needs to man up and take responsibility for his actions. But why should he when his mom does everything he wants, bails him out, and makes excuses for him? Shit, she told my mom I was dirty, when I was never a dirty person. I could not keep the house clean because he didn’t help and he was just dirty. I mean, he barely brushes his teeth. I think it is sick when I couldn’t kiss him because he had plaque in his teeth. Seriously, why should I have to tell him to brush his teeth or take a shower. But I was the dirty person? My place I had on my own was always clean except the clutter in the bedroom.
She also thinks he does nothing wrong or he isn’t in the wrong. If she loves her granddaughter like she says she does then she would know what he is doing isn’t right but because I don’t kiss her ass like everyone else does, she doesn’t like me. But it is funny that she would tell me how wrong douche canoe was when we were together and how much she loved me and didn’t want him to lose me and what he was doing was wrong and she didn’t raise him to be like that. But as soon as we break up, he isn’t doing anything wrong. He was wrong with Baby Mama 1 but not me. How? Because I didn’t marry him? If he wanted to move out, there is a wrong way and a right way. What he did was the wrong way. If he would have said lets’ put our 30 day notice in and go our own ways, I wouldn’t be so pissed, but this directly affects Jayden and I am not down with that. If anyone cared about my daughter at all, they wouldn’t tell him he isn’t doing anything wrong.
Instead, everyone is too busy throwing a pity party about how messed up it is that he doesn’t get to see his daughter. Well you know what, that is his problem. He could have went to the house anytime to see his daughter. But did he? Nope. I also went out of my way to try to make plans with him but hanging out with you was more important. There have been numerous of times where I invited him to the park or play area that I am taking Jo and he didn’t want to go because he had plans with you. Why should I have to hunt him down and call him all the time just so he can see his daughter? If he wants to see her, he can make the effort to see her. If he honestly cared, he would be calling me and bugging me, but he isn’t. Yes, I don’t want her around you right now (I don’t think it is healthy at this moment) but that is his daughter and he should want to see her more than anyone else. He should be doing whatever it take to see her. There is no reason I should be working around what you guys have planned. For example, Memorial Day weekend. I asked him what days he wanted her. I was going to let him have her the entire weekend. You know what days he chose? Sunday night until Monday early afternoon because he already had plans with you. But he wants to throw tantrums about me not letting him see her. Again, not my problem. Who is more important? Apparently you are. No offense but his two girls are going to always be in his life and he is blowing them off for a girl he thinks he wants to marry and hopes will last. So you mean to tell me that hopes is more important than blood? I am sorry, but he doesn’t deserve to have his children when he does this shit. He is destroying their innocence and I won’t put up with that. If you really and honestly wanted to have a relationship with his girls then you would understand or be pushing him to have his girls while you did your own thing. You haven’t even known him 2 months, shit, you don’t even know him. No one cares that I make an effort for him to see his daughter. All they care about is that douche canoe doesn’t get to see her and his mom just cares about her not seeing her. She could care less if he saw her as long as she did. And you wonder where he gets his mentality. Everyone thinks I am a bitch. I am not sure what he tells everyone, but I am sure he tells you that I just ignore him or degrade him or whatever else. I am the bitch because I “won’t let him” see her and he only tells people what he wants them to hear. He doesn’t want to look like that bad person.
And to be completely honest, why do I want my daughter around his family? They are very negative people, with the except of his brother. All they do is talk shit behind my back but kiss my ass to my face. Except his mother right now because she is so upset that she doesn’t get to see my daughter. But that is not my problem. She lives for drama as well as make shit up and tells stories from her point of view, which isn’t even mostly true. She doesn’t nothing but talk shit about me and make shit up. It is like she makes up these lies and believes them. Just like douche canoe. She is constantly talking about Baby Mama 1 when her daughter is around. She will sit there and preach to me about how we shouldn’t talk about BM1 in front of her daughter. I think it is funny because she is the one that is talking about BM! in front of her daughyter, not me. I think she does it to make herself look and feel better. The only problems BM! and I had were created by douche canoe. He played both of us and still is. He would say one thing to her and something totally different to me. He still does! He is mad because we are friends and not finding out about all the lies he told us.
Back to his family. I honestly don’t think we went through a dinner with out talking about BM1. WTF?!?!? Why did I want to talk about BM! and douche canoe all the time. They never respected that and neither does douche canoe. He might grow some balls sometimes but he just wants people to be happy. It must suck for you because I know they are constantly talking about BM1 and I. I don’t how you deal. They always got mad because I called them out on it. His mom would just get all huffy like I ruined her dinner. Why do I want my daughter around that? It is ridiculous. This isn’t a game and she is not the prize. She is a child and she is going to be a child that is emotionally damaged by them if they can’t keep their mouth shut around the girls. This isn’t a competition to see who my daughter loves better but his mom seems to thinks so, and apparently she is in it to win it. It is sad. I am tired of all this. I don’t care if anyone in his family likes me but they better respect me because I am the mother of Jayden. Period. If no one wants to respect me and my wishes then no one sees her. I am looking out for what is best for my child and only douche canoe and his family don’t see that. I am not sure about you, but then again, I don’t really care because who knows if you will even be around long enough to see her. I have seen what his family does and will do and I would only hope that you will have the good sense I had when I was raising his oldest. You will be my only hope of normalcy on that side. But I don’t know because you actually think it is a good idea to get married to a man you don’t even know.
Why are you getting married? Seriously? You have no idea what you are getting into and you are going to end up learning a very hard lesson. You will learn the hard way and have a divorce to go along with it. I had to learn the hard way. I am not going to lie, I was upset when I found out you guys were getting married. I am not jealous at all. He can say that all he wants but he will be extremely jealous when I get married. I mean he sent me a voicemail a week before you thought about getting married. I have it saved. It talks about how much he loves me and that he didn’t know what he was doing and he just want the best for all of his and he is willing to do whatever it takes to get there. I let a few people who know him really well listen to it. He claims it is just friendship love. But it doesn’t sound like that. There is a difference between the two especially with him. I would be more than happy to let you hear that. I am not saying that to change your mind or to shove it in your face. That is how he is. He doesn’t know what he wants. How do you jump from almost getting married where both girls lived with us to jumping into marriage after about 2 months? Don’t you see the dysfunction in that? Doesn’t anyone care about the girls other than BM1 and I? Do you honestly think that is healthy for them? Well it isn’t. and you guys are just going to destroy them and his oldest is old enough to understand what is going on. I can’t stop you from getting married nor do I care because you do me a huge favor by taking him off my hands. Now I don’t have to listen to him bitch about how poor he is. Well I probably still will, but I won’t have to help him out. We no longer have any bills together and it is great. Nothing being with him has reduced so much stress. I no longer have to worry about if he is going to spend money we don’t have or how much he overdraws our account. Right now, our joint account is negative almost $400 and douche canoe has yet to fix it. He keeps saying he is but he doesn’t. But either way it is one less worry. I no longer have to share an account with him because he will share and destroy the one you have. Do you even know how financially irresponsible he is? You probably don’t because he hasn’t worked enough or had many paychecks to show you how he blows money. Well you will find out soon. I really do wish you the best of luck supporting him on your salary. He lives way above his means and that will never chance. He has to have the best of the best and he will get it. With that being said, please explain to me how you will support the girls with douche canoe hardly working and then taking a week or whatever off for the wedding and everything else? He already pays child support to BM1. He will pay me the same amount of more. He has the IRS garnishing his wages as well as sending him letters about taking his stuff until he pays his debt. Do you even know how much he owes? Well over $10,000. Do you even know he is in trouble with the IRS? It may not sound like a that much but it is when the IRS doesn’t care how they get their money. He just starting paying taxes because he was claiming single and 9 which is ILLEGAL. He hasn’t even filed last years taxes so there goes more penalties. You know that when you marry douche canoe, you will acquire all of his debt as well as his IRS debt? The IRS is one agency I won’t mess with. They can and will do anything they want. Once you file together, they will go after you as well. They are still going after BM1 and they got divorced a few years ago. Douche canoe will tell you it is all her but that is just typical Douche Canoe. He wants to sound better. The thing that sucks is when you get divorced, they will continue to come after you. It took my aunt about 15 years to stop the IRS from taking her money from a divorce that happened when I was 7. She had to get a lawyer and still didn’t get her money back. The IRS doesn’t mess around. Do you know about his other debt? I think a lawyer is trying to garnish his wages as well. Well he has a lot of debt. I am sure his mail goes to your place. Just take a look. All his mail is probably someone looking to get money he owes. Apparently bills pay themselves these days. Weird.
Where are you guys going to live? Because I will not have my daughter sleeping with his mother and my daughter will not spending the night if you are living with him for a while. Were you aware that douche canoe wanted to come back to my house? He kept saying he wanted to move back in with me. He wanted to move into the new house I was getting. At first, he wanted to move in with me, which meant he wanted me to support him. Then he told me that he talked to you about moving in after you were married and you were okay with it because you were in a lease. Well I don’t know any married woman who would allow her husband to live with a girl let alone an ex. Well either way, he said you were okay with it, which translates into, he never asked you about it in douche canoe’s world. Then when I told him how stupid he was and how unhealthy it was for the girls, he came back a week or two and wanted all three of us to live together like we were some big happy family. Please tell me that you were not okay with this. Because that is beyond dysfunctional. That would completely confuse the girls and it just shows how he only thinks of himself. Sometimes, I don’t think he really gets it or understand. Sometimes I feel bad for him because he is just like his mom but then I look back at all the messed up things he has done to me and I just laugh. It is okay for douche canoe to do what he wants when he wants but when someone does it back he gets all pissy. He didn’t care that he is driving around a truck that is half mine and that I put $2000 down on it. I could have saved that money and used it to move into a house with my daughter. The care I am driving, he wouldn’t have if I didn’t trade my car in. Now he wants to super tough guy and threaten me with the cops. That is extremely trashy and he only does that because I got to him. He won’t let me have the truck and then he informed me he will have both! Ha. The car is $100 more than the car. I don’t really care that he doesn’t have a job because he does. He may not work all the time but that is his fault. He had another job lined up but apparently he didn’t want it anymore after you guys were dating. Which is lame. He tells me we would still be screwed because he doesn’t have a job. Doesn’t matter, the point is, he would have stayed. And he is just saying that so he doesn’t feel bad. He sits there and bitches about how he couldn’t handle living with me or my mom yelling at him but who cares. He creates his own problems. He thinks of himself and he is constantly proving it all the time. Funny, he didn’t seem to care that his mom called me a homewrecker. Funny, how can I be a homewrecker when douche canoe told me he was in the process of getting a divorce when he was still actually married and working on his marriage. Weird. He can deny it all he wants but the court papers show when the papers were filed and it was a month after we got together. But I am the homewrecker? Don’t worry, she will soon get jealous of your relationship if she isn’t already and do whatever it takes to end it. She will win. You know why… because he is a mamas boy. It all goes back to the sick relationship she has with him. He is always acting like the victim just like his mom. He does an amazing job of turning everything around so he sounds like the good guy and everyone thinks he is right. Instead of helping me out like he said he was. I got kicked out of the house. I had three days to get out of the house. I kept asking for help and he didn’t care. How can you do that to his daughter if he loved her so much? How could you have allowed him to bail out on his child? You are going to be her step mother and you think it is acceptable for him to bail out on his daughter and jeopardize her living situation? Some step mother. He left his stuff at my house. He had the chance to get the beds and all his stuff. He chose that his guad and MY DOG were more important. Then he wants to throw a fit because he couldn’t get anything. Again, his problem. Then he thinks if he throws the girls names in, people will give in? Well I am not. He chose not to get his stuff and he wants to get all mad at the world because he lost it? Who cares. I am tired of being blamed for his problems. He is nothing but a disappoint and a disgrace.
I know nothing I say will stop you from getting married. You will have to learn for yourself and again you have a hard lesson to learn. Doesn’t it bother you that his family doesn’t support the marriage or thinks that you are both stupid? Have you thought about anything? Aren’t you both aware that your marriage is going to affect the relationship douche canoe has with his children and the amount of time he will see them? Or are you guys planning to have your own family? Let me tell you that if you are getting married because you are married, that is the wrong reason to get married. Just ask BM1. Her marriage lasted 6 months because they got married because she was pregnant. You think taking a step parenting class is going to make everything better for the girls? Well it isn’t. You guys are only thinking of yourselves and the only people this is going to affect are the girls. The only reason I care about the wedding is that you both are bringing the girls down with you. Being a parent is putting your child first, not do whatever you want to do. If you think your life is going to continue as normal, it won’t. Just because you have younger siblings doesn’t mean you know what it is like to take care of a child. You will have two girls that you will need to take care of and pawning them off on other people so you can party of do whatever else is not an option. I guarantee you will be spending more time with the girls than douche canoe. You will do all the work and when his mother tries to undermine your authority, it will piss you off. I have through it all. I don’t regret many things, but I regret staying with douche canoe as long as I did. I wish I left him when I was pregnant. The only good thing that came out of being with him was my daughter and the bond I got with his oldest. I personally think you are being stupid about this situation and have really no idea what you are getting yourself into. I feel sorry for you in a way but at the same time I don’t. I am not saying this to piss you off but all this is going to affect my daughter as well as his oldest. His oldest is my family whether he likes it or not. I raised her when we were together. I did everything for her and then he wants to take her away like I never existed? Whatever. It breaks my heart seeing the girls the way they are because the father cares more about himself than his own daughters. I know he loves them. I have never questioned that. He just loves himself more than anyone else. I think it is crap that he does whatever he wants and BM1 and I have to just accept it. It is not fair to us that we have to make the best out of the shitty situations that he deals us.
When I was with douche canoe, I felt as though I was the only one looking out for his oldest best interest and of course my daughters. I really am nervous about them being around his family. I truly hope you can be the normal one and look out for their best interest. I am finding it hard to think you will at this moment but I am really hoping you won’t let his family, more importantly, his mom walk all over you. Yes she is blood related but y u will be the step mom. Don’t ever let his mother tell you otherwise. If I have to, I will remind her and she wont’ like that because I am the hugest bitch to her. I am being serious. She will pull the “I am the grandma” cared but it is shit. She doesn’t do what is best for the girls. She loves them but that is about it. You are seriously our only hope that the girls are taken care of. I really hope you are responsible and will look after the girls at all times. I have a lot of concerns.
I am not trying to be negative about your marriage not lasting, but I am not the only one. He will destroy you and ruin your life. It is only a matter of time. He showed his true true colors to me the past few months and he will show them to you. He isn’t going to change. Not while his mother is around. If he does happen to prove everyone wrong, great. I really hope he can get his shit together for his children. They love him.
After she read this letter, she apparently was crying about how I am not giving her a chance and blah blah blah.... you know what I say to that? What fucking chance do I have to give you? You are marrying a man you don't know and you are marrying him before you know my daughter. WTF!?!?! Am I supposed to be okay with some stupid bitch coming into the picture and being a step mom before actually knowing my daughter? Well fuck you lady. Grow up.
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