Father of the Year

Me- When are you going to start paying child support? Our daughter'smedical bills are out of hand and I need help.

Jack- I told you get with your lawyer and we can work something out WTF?!?!?! I am not a messenger you piece of shit. You contact my lawyer. There is a reason she gave YOU her number.

Me- Really? That is your answer? Your daughter needs to see a dr and that is your answer? It is your insurance! Meaning you pay her bills. Thank you being the best father ever.  I am taking this all the way to the judge. So there will be no meeting with my lawyer.

Jack- I don’t have any fucking money Like I do? I hardly eat anymore Am I supposed to feel bad? so there is food for the girls Well aren’t you father of the fucking year. what do you want I want you to help support YOUR child last week after Whoreen and the IRS, I made 78 Well, I will take that 78 that is left over, since I didn’t make Jo on my own. I don’t have money Really? So random people just give you money to buy the American Eagle clothes you now have?  your doing way better than me Ha. I live at my parent’s house and you live on your own. How is that doing better than you? stop paying for daycare take her to my mom or Witless Do you know how stupid you sound? Stop paying for daycare? Apparently, you don’t care about how much she has learned from daycare.

Me- You can’t even give me the insurance bills. I found out how much I owe when I take her in and the bills are already in collections and she can’t be seen. Second, I don’t have money either. I just dropped a few hundred dollars for the past dr. visit but you don’t see me bitching about not having money. Is there ever a time you don’t use a personal pronoun in your tragic life?

Jack-They should of gone to you that’s how mo does it Well, I am not mo am I? Your insurance buddy. I am not ruining my credit because you want to be an idiot.

Jack- Because mom and dad continue to bail you out I wouldn’t bitch either If my parents bailed me out all the time, why am I asking for YOU to help me out?

Me- They don’t bail me out genius. I have to pay them back for everything I borrowed as well as all the money they helped you out with. “Providing” our daughter food for a few days out of the month doesn’t mean shit. So I don’t care if you think my parents bail me out of not. They don’t. You are trying to take the blame off of you. Whatever. Do what you want. Because at the end of the day, I am the one taking care of her and doing what a parent should do for the child.

Jack- That is not what your friends say Hahahah my friends are not your friends and why would they go to you and tell you my parents bail me out? Do you stalk me and my friends and that is how you know this? Well, I wouldn’t quit your plumbing gig anytime soon because being a private investigator isn’t working out to well for you.

Me- Yeah, funny how its okay for you to argue all day with me but when I bring up valid points, you resort to little kiddie games. Or you don’t want to talk anymore. Good job. See you in court. And I am talking to my lawyer about her not going over there this weekend because I don’t trust you to give her meds or stay home for her to relax and not run around town all weekend.

Jack- Bullshit you’re an idiot first you know damn well she will be taken care of here your just being you again. Well someone has to be me in this relationship and who better to be me, than me?

Jack- get a life it will help you get over all the unnecessary anger you have in your life being pissed that our daughter having pneumonia and not being able to get her into the doctor because her loser father won’t pay the medical bills are see that I get is unnecessary anger?. You knew I carry the ins you pay the bills I knew this? How did I know this. I told you that when we discussed the things we were supposed to talk with your lawyer about Yeah, and I told you I wanted child support but I don’t see that rolling in. Your points are mute so see ya Friday at four at the gym My points are mute?

Me- Oh. I am sorry. Do I have unnecessary anger? Oh, I apologize. I guess trying to make a dr’s appointment for your daughter and find out she can’t go in because of unpaid bills is normal. I feel ashamed for overreacting. I mean, you are the policy holder. I should have read your mind and automatically knew you would never pay for any of the bills. Shit, I am ashamed that I asked you to pay child support. After all, I wouldn’t be in this predicament if she didn’t go to daycare. Who cares if she is benefiting from daycare immensely.  As long as you can still buy your necessities, that is all that matters. Thank you for showing me that my priorities are out of whack and I need to refocus my unnecessary anger elsewhere. I should be doing things like asking you for all medical bills so I can pay for everything or if you need any winter clothes. How selfish of me.

Me- Ha um, just because you said it doesn’t mean it is done that way. I said I wanted you to pay child support and you won’t. But that is cool with me because the more months you are behind means the more you have to pay and the more chances of you not being able to afford it increases your chances of getting in trouble. So don’t sit there and tell me that just because you told me that means it actually happens. It doesn’t matter anymore because I am adding her to my policy and I will get that credit in the child support calculations. So it was nice talking to you.  Also, if you refuse to pay child support, you should at least be man enough to pay for the medical bills. But you don’t. And I have nothing but receipts. So again, it has been nice discussing all this with you.

Jack- you won’t sit down and discuss a number til you do that I don’t know what to pay. See that is what I am talking about. First of all, you’re run on sentences annoy the hell out of me. Second, why do I need to sit down and discuss a number. You should at least be paying me what you pay baby mama number one.

Me- Okay bro, well my lawyer says that I don’t have to let Jo go over to your place this weekend because of her health. Besides, you don’t want your pregnant wife getting sick with this illness.

Jack-It’s not contagious . Well well well Dr. Gaither.

Me- I wasn’t aware you were a doctor. I always thought you were a plumber. My bad. Well Dr. Gaither, according to kidshealth.org “Because pneumonia is often caused by contagious germs, a good way to prevent it is to keep your distance from anyone you know who has pneumonia or other respiratory infections”.

Oh you don’t have a response? Yeah, that is right. I am smart and you are not. You will never be ahead of the game when it comes to me. Get out of my FACE with that shit!