Hopeless romantic seeking girl with no guy friends....

This guy is constantly posting on craigslist. I am going to say he posts 3-5 times a day. Yes, a day.

Title: Attractive, fit male searching for cuddling, affection, and romance! - 27 (South Scottsdale)

My name is Chris and I am originally from Portland, Oregon but I recently moved to Scottsdale, Arizona on May 10th and absolutely love it so far. As far as work goes I own my own business as a professional web designer and graphic artist. I own my own company and work from home doing so. I am very successful with my business and it is something I am truly grateful for. I'm a bit of a homebody, there's nothing I love more than cuddling up in bed and watching a movie together while getting lost in each others eyes.

I have a 23lb French Bulldog who is 9 months old. I haven't named him yet so in the meantime I've just been calling him 'Frenchie'. I'll come up with a good name soon though I hope! I like taking him to the dog park, playing fetch with him, and going on walks.

Health and fitness are by far my biggest hobby and a huge part of my life. I have been bodybuilding for the past 7 years now and I have made amazing accomplishments in regards to my progress and physique. I am a competitive bodybuilder and compete in bodybuilding / figure competitions which is something I very much enjoy. I love bodybuilding and training, however it doesn't leave me much time to meet people, especially those who are committed to a healthy life style and self-improvement. When I'm prepping for a contest I follow a super strict diet and never cheat at all. In the off season though I will cheat a few times per week. When I do cheat I love going out to places like The Old Spaghetti Factory, PF Changs, and others. I'm hoping to meet someone who enjoys being healthy and active and won't mind my sometimes strict diets or going to the gym with me as well. I am also a nationally certified personal trainer which is something I'm very proud of as well.

As you can tell by my photos I am also a huge fan of motorcycles. I ride every single day and I am also an avid track racer as well. My current bike is a 2005 Kawasaki Ninja ZX-10R. Of all the bikes I've ever owned (and believe me that's a lot) I have to say that this is by far the best one. It's almost better than sex, literally!

I'm the kind of guy who will send you a sweet text message telling you how much I love you or miss you literally right after we got off the phone with each other. I want a girl who is the same way in that aspect. Someone who just won't be able to get enough of me just like I won't be able to get ahold of her. I'd like a girl who when I ask her "when do you want to hangout?" will tell me "right now" or "tonight" instead of trying to make plans with me days or weeks from now. I want someone who wants to see me that bad that they just can't wait.

I'm probably the only guy (especially around here) you'll ever meet who does not drink (not even on occasion), smoke, or do drugs. I also am not the kind of guy who goes to bars, parties, or clubs. Personally I don't see how spending tons of money on alcohol, getting wasted, and then waking up the next morning feeling like crap can be any fun at all. Then again, that's just my opinion. I'm not religious at all, these are just personal choices I've made.

I have the most amazing family in the world who I care for very much (especially my mother). I'm very, very close with my family to say the least.

As far as looks go I am not too picky. I don't like girls who always have to wear skimpy outfits and show off as I'm a bit more 'low key'. I'm not much into the 'fake' look. By that I mean the typical girls you see so much around Arizona with the orange tan, platinum blonde fake hair, fake nails, etc. Moreover I prefer girls who are naturally cute and wear little to no makeup, a girl who looks pretty naturally without having to be 'fake'. I also like a girl who is shorter than me (I'm 5'9). I have never been much into the ridiculously skinny barbie type, but at the same time I'm not into 'huge' girls either, I think there is a happy medium to be honest. I've dated girls ranging from size 0 to size 13 so don't assume just because I look a certain way that I only go for a certain type because you're completely wrong if you think that. I would never refuse to date someone just because they fell under one of the things I mentioned above, I'm just listing what I prefer, that's all. To me there is so much more to a relationship than just looks. Sure, looks do matter some, but that's just a small part of it.

DISCLAIMER: I must warn you, aside from my hopeless romantic side I also have a very kinky/naughty side. I very much enjoy sex (especially when it's with someone I love) and I consider myself very adventurous and kinky in the bedroom (it is a form of affection after all). I feel that an amazing sex life is part of the foundation for a lasting relationship. That being said, if you consider yourself to be prude, not into sex, or just plain and vanilla in the bedroom, well I probably wouldn't be your guy. Sex is supposed to be fun, not boring. The only reason I am really being upfront about this is because I am tired of being in relationships where the sex is incredibly boring.

I HAVE NO INTEREST IN DATING ANYONE WHO DRINKS (even if it's just a glass of wine on occasion) smokes, does drugs, goes out to clubs, bars, ]or if you have friends who are guys. Those are my only real deal breakers so I figure I should put them out there. Please get this through your head before you email me. I'm getting very frustrated of getting emails from girls who drink (or anything else I mentioned) and ask me to make an exception. Also, if you spell like this "WuTz uP BbY wE sHuLd HaNg OuT uR hAwT!" then don't even bother writing me. I have no time for illiterate people who can't even communicate like a normal person. It probably takes more brain power to spell retarded like that then it would to actually talk normal -- bottom line, you're an IDIOT. We all have our preferences and these are mine. I'm not going to make any exceptions at all because I am not going to settle for less, sheesh!

I would like to meet a girl who will fall asleep with me every single night tightly embraced in my arms with her head pressed against my chest and her leg thrown over mine as I gently run my fingers through her hair, kiss her forehead ever so lightly, and whisper sweet things in her ear until she falls asleep, right there in my arms where she belongs.

Every single morning she will wake in my arms right where she fell asleep and as she slowly opens her eyes I'll use my finger to point to eyes, then my heart, and then to her before I softly whisper in her ear how much I love her. We will hold each other, cuddle, and get lost in each others eyes until we are both fully awake. We will then get in the shower, wash each other, kiss, and go on with our day.
If she has to go to work we will exchange sweet text messages and phone calls all day long while we are apart. As soon as she is off work she will rush home to me and we will hold each other as if we've been away from one another for years. I'll tell her how much I missed her and she will tell me how much she couldn't stand being away from me.

I want someone who needs me to breathe just like they need air. I want someone who can't stand to be away from me even for a few minutes. I want a girl who will hold my hand everywhere we go (even in the car), and do sweet little things like give me kisses in the car when we're stuck at long stop lights. I want someone who loves PDA and affection and can't live without physical touch.

I would like a girl who will not only be my best friend but also my lover. Someone who will live with me and do everything with me just as if we are best friends but so much more. I want a girl who will truly make me her first priority and put me before everything else in her life just as I will do the same for her.
I want a fairly tale romance. A love so pure and so true that it rivals that of anything found in the most romantic of movies or books. I want someone who can effortlessly put their feelings into words and tell me how they feel. I want a girl who will never be afraid to just look me in the eyes and spill her heart to me. I want someone who is clingy and needy and understands that I am the same way.

I want a girl who will go everywhere with me, do everything with me, and let me spend the rest of my entire life showing her how much I love her and just how much she means to me. I want a girl who will dream about sweet things like getting married on the beach during the sunset with me, taking bubble baths in the candle light together, and having a family and kids one day who we will love so much.

I'm the kind of guy who will send you a sweet text message telling you how much I love you or miss you literally right after we got off the phone with each other. I want a girl who is the same way in that aspect. Someone who just won't be able to get enough of me just like I won't be able to get ahold of her. I'd like a girl who when I ask her "when do you want to hangout?" will tell me "right now" or "as soon as possible" instead of trying to make plans with me days or weeks from now. I want someone who wants to see me that bad that they just can't wait.

I don't believe in the kind of love where people say you 'learn to love' because to me that is not love at all. I will know this girl when I meet her because it will truly be love at first sight. The way she looks at me will be the dead give away and the way I look at her will tell her the same. I'll look at her as if I've never even seen another woman and she will look at me the same. From the moment we first meet we will be head over heals for each other. We'll be inseparable from the very first date, staying the night with each other every single night, moving in together, getting married, and spending the rest of our lives sharing a love that most people never even knew existed.

Anyways, I'm more of an in person conversation kind of guy so I can read body language, talk face-to-face, and get to know each other the right way. That being said, let's keep the emails to a minimum and meet somewhere in person right from the get go! Not two days from now, not this weekend, not next week, but TODAY!

Feel free to check out my Facebook at www.facebook.com/chrisjum or my MySpace at www.myspace.com/kawi_chris if you're interested.

I think I literally threw up in my mouth reading this bullshit. Now, I am not saying that men can’t be hopeless romantics, but he sounds like a chick. What guy out there wants to be around a girl that much and what girl wants to be around someone that much.  Don’t get me wrong, he is a good looking guy but there has to be something wrong with him if he is posting on craigslist several times a day and wants to be joined at the hip all the time. I can’t even text my boyfriend all day long. I need my space.

Second, it’s great that he doesn’t drink or anything but not wanting a girl that wants an occasional glass of wine is a little extreme. Not to mention the friends who guys aspect. I have tons of guy friends. Just because we are friends doesn’t mean I want to hook up with them. They are friends for a reason. Sounds like he has some real self-esteem and jealousy issues.

I decided to email him and introduce myself to see if we could get something started.

Hi Chris,

I am glad that I came across your ad. It is very rare to find a guy that possesses all the qualities that you have mentioned in your ad. I, myself, am into bodybuilding as well. I used to be very big into body building until  all the roids I was taking was making me very man like with a manly voice. I don’t know about you, but that isn’t all that attractive. I stopped taking steroids about a year ago and have started to look more like a female. For the past few months, I have been taking tons of estrogen hormones and I am becoming more feminine looking each day. I would also like to state that the steroid days are well behind me and I keep up with weight training the natural way. Live and learn is what I always say. Right?!?!

I am glad that you mentioned that sex needs to be fun. I understand that all too well. My ex boyfriend was very boring in the sack and it led me to seek alternative methods of enjoyment. When he realized I was seeking sex elsewhere, he begged and pleaded with me that he would do anything to keep me. I thought about this for a moment and decided to take him up on this offer. I have an abundant amount of sex toys to help keep sex interesting. One of my all-time toys is my purple colored strap-on. My ex was a little leery of  trying this at first but after a few minutes of convincing him, he was game. The first time we tried this, he cried the whole time. I think it is because he finally realized how beautiful sex could be if he tried new things. However, I am not sure that was the case because he left me a note the day he dumped me telling me how I de-manned him for wanting to have butt sex with him all the time. Who knew. Either way, I am with you about wanting to keep sex interesting and hope my example illustrates that.

Moving on, your post brought a tear to my eye. I have always wanted to have a boyfriend that I could text all day long at work, even though I have many other important things to take care of. I am more than happy to put down whatever I am doing to text you all day long. I am also the type of girl that will keep texting until you answer. If you don’t answer in a few seconds, I get extremely worried. I will text a few more times just to make sure you received the message. After about a minute, I get upset. Do you still want to be with me? Have you found another woman? Are you rethinking our relationship? I just can’t take it anymore. Then I send text after text pleading with you to stay with me. Afterall, I want you to know that you I am constantly thinking of you.

I am also a big fan of leaving little notes EVERYWHERE for you to find. The bathroom mirror, the toilet, on your pillow, in the fridge, inside your coffee mug, on the front door, in your wallet, a sweet stitching job on your favorite pair of jeans, and so on. The things I do for the one I love are endless. I want you to be happy.

I can go on and on over your ad, but I will end this email for now. I want to make sure there are more things to talk about when I pick up for dinner at 5pm tonight.

XOXO,

Raqui

Chris never emailed me back :(